Warm Hands
by 33Sheep33Sheep
Summary: Haru realises he will never be able to feel the warmth of his hand ever again... Haruka Nanase x Makoto Tachibana! Also Nagisa Hazuki x Rei Ryugazaki! (if you squint really hard) YAOI! Please review if you like!
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first sad/depressing fanfiction I have wrote. I feel like I'd be good at writing stuff like this though (even though I know this is pretty crap). Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

For once in his life, the hand that had always been there to greet and help him out of every pool and bath in his life hadn't been there waiting for him.

He would never feel that warmth ever again...

The first time he realised this, was when him, Nagisa, Rei and a new guy (who had replaced _him_ ) had swam in a relay together. The new guy was no where near as amazing as _he_ was. Haru never even bothered to greet him properly.

There was no point...

After finishing the relay in fourth place, Haru looked up and noticed a hand being held out to him. It was much smaller and when he took it, Haru noticed it wasn't as warm as he was used to. Haru thought that his hand would suit Rei's very well.

But when Haru saw the hand held out for him, he had to fight back tears that were threatening to spill onto his face. He didnt blame Nagisa for bringing back memories of _him_ (he probably didn't even notice).

"Are you okay, Haru?" Rei asked. He had noticed the tears.

Crap.

"I'm fine," Haru responded. He tried to look like nothing was wrong but he didn't fail to notice Nagisa and Rei look at each other in worry and understanding. (They knew the reason.)

The new guy however, "aww. Is Haru crying because he lost?" He was grinning. Haru didn't say anything but Nagisa and Rei looked at the guy with disgust.

"You may not know what happened, but don't _ever_ laugh at Haru! He has his reasons." Nagisa yelled. Haru was a little shocked but it didn't compare to the shock on the other guy's face. He grinned soon enough, though.

"Aww, what happened? Got into a fight with your best friend and he left the swim team? Sometimes I wonder how anyone could get close to you; you're so distant."

Haru had never doubted his relationship with _him_ ever. Haru had never thought that for a second that _their_ friendship was fake. And when he realised he loved him more than a best friend, it was already too late.

Rei and Nagisa were about to defend Haru and say something but Haru decided he would tell the new guy straight. He knew Rei and Nagisa would try to explain things in a way that wouldn't upset Haru or would just leave him out all together. Haru took a deep breath and stood forward.

Nagisa tried to stop him but Haru knew how stubborn he was.

"The man, Makoto Tachibana, who used to be part of our group isn't here with us anymore, that's true. But what you dont realise is that he never would have left us because he wanted to," Haru explained.

"What? He had to leave because his mum and dad said so?" The guy still had a grin on his face.

"HE DIED!" Haru yelled. He noticed the tears in Nagisa and Rei's eyes. He also noticed how everyone was looking at them. And he noticed the genuine shock on the guy's face. "Makoto Tachibana, the person I loved, died. I have to keep swimming for him, it's the only thing keeping me alive!"

* * *

Later that night, Haru was lying on his bed, wide awake. The only thing Haru could ever think about in the night when he was alone was Makoto. Why did it have to be _him_? Of everyone in the world, Makoto was the one who deserved death the least.

Haru clutched his shirt where his heart was and let himself cry for once in his life after his best friend died.

"Makoto... I miss you so much. I miss you so much the only thing keeping me alive is swimming. And even then, swimming doesnt feel free anymore. It feels like a prison cell just to make me think about you. If I didnt have swimming I would have let myself rot right next to you a long time ago. But I know you wouldn't want that. I swim for you. I swim for you because it's the only thing keeping me sane. I love you Makoto. God I love you so damn much! But i'm sure you know that, dont you Makoto?"

Haru would give everything he had, even his own soul, to see Makoto again, to kiss him. But it was far too late for that. He had spent 17 whole years with him and it took him 18 to realise he loved him. It took him 18 years to realise that Makoto was going to die and when he did, he realised he would never feel the warmth of Makoto's hand ever again...

* * *

 **Wow! I just realised i may have gone over the top but oh well. When it comes to angst, I get right into it. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**As requested, here is chapter 2! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

It was new years eve and Haru, Nagisa and Rei were at a bonfire. A party for all of the swimmers.

' _Well, all of them except Makoto,'_ Haru thought. He still hadn't gotten over his best friend's death. He was too young and deserved what happened to him the least. Nagisa and Rei always tried to cheer Haru up, especially on this night.

"Hey, Haru! Let's go get some food!" Nagisa exclaimed. Haru didn't say anything and just nodded. He rarely spoke now ever since the relay. (Last chapter, btw.)

The whole party, Haru felt like a third wheel. Rei and Nagisa seemed to be having so much fun and he felt like he was hindering their enjoyment.

"We should go and watch the fireworks," Rei said, "I bet they'll be beautiful."

The trio made their way to where the party really was and waited for the firework show to commence. The three sat next to the bonfire. Haru stared at the flames with disgust. He hated fire, he hated what it could do and he hated what it _did_.

* * *

Haru was so tired. He was ready for a good night's sleep after dinner. Once Haru finished, he stumbled up to his room, flopped onto his bed and fell asleep.

But Haru was soon awoken by the sound of crackling. What was that? He opened his eyes and there was smoke _everywhere_. Haru started to panic, there was a fire. Did he forget to turn everything off?! The smoke started to sting Haru's eyes and he couldn't breath clean air. Haru coughed and spluttered as he opened the door to his bedroom. There was fire everywhere.

"HARU!" Haru heard a familiar voice yell. It was Makoto! Haru tried to call out to him but nothing came out. All of a sudden, his front door was kicked down and Haru could see Makoto at the end of the hall.

"Haru!" Makoto called again. He ran over to Haru and held a towel to his face. Haru felt he was about to pass out soon. Makoto carried Haru over to where the front door was and Haru could vaguely see someone standing at the door; Makoto's father.

"Makoto! Hurry!" The man yelled. Makoto ran around the fire and once he finally reached the door, he passed Haru to his father. By now the firefighters had arrived at Haru's house. Haru heard a loud crash and looked over to the doorway. Planks of wood had blocked the entrance.

"MAKOTO!" Said boy's father roared. What? Where was Makoto? He wasn't stuck inside was he?

"I-I'll be alright! Just make sure Haru's safe!" Makoto yelled from the other side. Haru's eyes widened. He was still in there! He was going to die! A couple firefighters tried to kick the wood down so they could rescue Makoto but to no avail. Haru was starting to drift more and more into unconsciousness. As his eyes closed, Haru heard an explosion and a gust of wind blasting against his face like a whip.

"MAKOTO!" Makoto's father screamed. At that point, all consciousness left Haru.

When Haru woke up, he was in a futon. He couldn't really comprehend where he was and then it came to him. He was in the Tachibana household. Haru's eyes widened. Where was he? Where was Makoto?!

"Haru!" Nagisa exclaimed, he jumped on Haru and gave him a huge hug, Rei was there and he joined in too.

"Makoto. Where is he? Where is Makoto?" Haru cried. Nagisa and Rei's faces fell and they started to tear up.

"H-He..." Nagisa started.

"Makoto...Um..." Rei tried. And then it hit Haru like a freight train. He... Didn't survive... Haru weeped. His best friend had _died._ His final words rung in Haru's head.

' _I-I'll be alright! Just make sure Haru's safe!'_ Haru would have chuckled if the situation wasn't so serious. Makoto never once worried that he could die or be injured. The only thing he cared about that night was if Haru was safe. He sacrificed himself for Haru. This only made Haru cry even more.

* * *

Haru tried to keep tears from spilling onto his cheeks. He couldn't help but think about the memories he had made with his best friend. 17 years of friendship and companionship. 17 years, no more, no less.

 _Makoto shouldn't have died, it should have been me instead._

Once Haru thought that, he heard Makoto's voice.

" _Don't be silly. If dying meant I'd be able to save you, that would be the only option I'd give myself. As long as I was alive, I'd never let you be in danger. Even now that I'm not with you in the flesh, I'll still watch over you. I won't let anything happen to you, Haru..."_

Haru gasped silently and looked around him. There was no one there, no sign of Makoto. Haru thought he must have been going crazy, but he knew there was truth in what he heard as well. Haru's tears finally broke free and fell done his face. Haru made no attempt to wipe his cheeks and he closed his eyes. Haru heard Makoto's voice one last time, the last time he heard the voice in his ears for the rest of his life.

 _I love you, Haru..._

Haru smiled. He finally felt free again.

Makoto died saving Haru from a fiery death. A year later, Haru realised he was in love and by then, it was too late...


End file.
